Aaron's Notebook

the tortured poems

May 12th, 2024

It’s time for another album anthology! Taylor Swift wrote a 31-track album about poetry so I had to write 31 poems about the album, it’s unavoidable at this point. Dare I say some of my bleakest stuff is in here? Who knows. Regardless, put the album on and devour it. It’s taken literal weeks to drag this together but I like the way a lot of it has turned out. Always a good way to keep the cogs turning. The Tortured Poets Department has rewired my entire brain and this is just a small insight into how and why. TLDR; The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived is probably a bit insane. Even for me.

A x

The Tortured Poems Download
the eternal sunshine poems

March 9th, 2024

Ariana Grande and Taylor Swift are usually, inexplicably, in my walls. Which is to say that they have a habit of releasing extremely specific albums exactly when I need them. With brief allusions to Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Ariana’s new album eternal sunshine feels like having someone hold my hand. I used to make a habit of writing poetry inspired by album track-lists, like a creative call-and-response. And parts of me find it fulfilling, the extended exercise of unpicking images someone else wrote and seeing how they fit over my life. Other parts of me find it cringe, but I grow shameless with my writing. Below is a track-by-track poetry chapbook inspired by the album. There’s some good stuff in there. Listen as you read, if you like. Accept the same warm hug I have from the music.

the-eternal-sunshine-poems Read here
valhalla

February 13th, 2024

I am awake on a boat, burning.
They are burning me dead and
alive. I am awake, a second time,
at a long table. I count the faces;
trace the names sat light on my
tongue of loves and lovers, eyes
bright to see me and
someone pours me a drink.

What’s this ache of music?
How could this hall be so warm?
How many hands can possibly land
on my back with a clap, drag me fast
to feasting embrace and say;
we have been waiting for you.
You have made us so proud.
Upon Further Reflection – a 2023 poetry retrospective

February 13th, 2024

As an act of therapy and creative exorcism, I have put together a chapbook reflecting on the year I’ve had. I’ve wasted many words in the Introduction and Endnote explaining why I decided to do this but the main one is this; 2023 was a huge blessing. Blessings have many edges, and some of them are sharp. I feel as though I felt every feeling on the chart over the space of those 365 days. And, since I shared less poetry than ever last year, here is a somewhat curated insight into that. I hope you like it. And I hope, like I have been trying to, you’re meeting 2024 with peace.

Upon Further Reflection Download

A x
pure

January 3rd, 2024

I am perfect and
everything else is
circumstance. Inside,
I am perfect. You look at me with

pure eyes. You see the ways I
am destined for better things
than this breakdown, this
drink in a dive bar and
we both know one day we

will look down from atop
the mountain and say;
this is the seat meant for us.

This is always where we
were destined to go.
A Fresh Start

January 1st, 2024

This is a short blog post to say that in 2023, I challenged myself to vlog every single day of my year. It was a lengthy and sometimes emotionally challenging experience, but one that I held myself to. If you want to take a look at that, all of the videos are in a playlist here. Weekly vlogs chronicling every day of my year. And while a lot of monumental things happened in 2023 while I’ll be glad to have a permanent record of forever, I’d have to be slowly losing my grip on reality to continue that into 2024. It was a lot to film something every day, but it was even more to have a record of every era I’ve had staring back at me from a YouTube channel. It made me introspective to a fault. Was I happier two months ago? Why are the vlogs getting shorter? Am I having less fun? And so, the breakdown ensues.

For 2024, I want something more manageable that still pushes me creatively. And I’ve tried to have a blog before, but it’s always been somewhat of an exercise in futility. I think my drive has shifted a lot in 2023. Previously, I hadn’t even been able to keep up with 1-Second-a-Day. And suddenly, I’ve vlogged every single day of the year. Previously, I’d never been able to finish writing a novel. And suddenly, I finished writing two in the space of a year. So, for a resolution for 2024, picking up a new blog and forcing myself to produce content on it seems like a realistic shout. One of the comforting things about vlogging was that it felt like shouting into the void, a little. I was sharing my life to an extremely personal extent, but there were hardly any people watching. I liked that – it felt intimate. It was never about engagement, because it was about maintaining a personal record of my life. I hoped it would help me to slow down. And, maybe to my surprise, it worked. This blog will hopefully keep that energy going.

Anyway, I’ll likely start populating this over the course of December, but here’s to 2024. Strangely, it’s a year I have extremely good vibes about.

A x